I’d like to formally introduce you to Spangenbaby!
It’s the middle of the night and I am awake feeding this little miracle in my arms. I am tired. Very tired, however I don’t mind it one bit. The middle of the night is when he and I can just be together. No older brothers fighting for kisses. No wet dog noses to check and make sure all is well with his baby. No daddy to share this little guy with. No TV, no visitors, no interruptions. Just he and I and quiet silence except for tiny squeaks and breaths as he nurses. I rub my thumb on his cheek and he peeks an eye open at me to say hello. He slowly drifts back into his milk coma peacefully.
I spend extra time after he eats burping him. Not only to get him to sleep better but I love when I put him over my shoulder. He throws up his arms up around my neck as if he is hugging me back. I savor this feeling of his little arms thrown over my shoulder. I sit and pat his back with my cheek against his. It’s so soft. I nuzzle my nose in the crook of his neck and take deep breaths of that glorious baby smell. How I wish I could bottle that smell up. I can hear is breaths in my ear and he makes coos and grunts to let me know he doesn’t like to be burped :) His little head of super fine hair is so soft and I just sit and rub it in my hand, softly kissing his squishy, squishy, squishy cheeks!
I often fall asleep like this. He and I just snuggling and being together. It’s certainly not the most restful sleep. OK so it’s not restful for me at all but I do it over and over and over because soon he will be sleeping through the night and our quiet, middle of the night time together will be gone. I have the rest of my life to sleep so I don’t mind much.
He is a true miracle and every time I look into those beautiful blue eyes I say a prayer thanking God for giving him to me. It seemed like an endless road to get him. I often think about the 5 babies I was never able to hold as he and I spend these quiet moments together. My heart aches when I think about them. Never getting to hold them or meet them, but I know I will one day and having this guy in my arms reminds me that there is a plan and we need to trust that we will understand it one day when the time is right.
His real name is written above. For blog purposes he will be James or Jimmy or probably forever “Spangenbaby”. I just do this for safety and because my blog is MY place. I signed up to share my projects, life and heart with you all. My family did not. It allows me to include them and share them with you without their names being stamped into Google history.
His big brothers are just in love with him. Constantly kissing him, doting on him, touching him and loving him. They are enjoying showing their baby brother the world around them and revel in all of Spangenbaby’s “firsts” They love showing him new things….even when he is sleeping! They might love showing him off even more. Even to perfect strangers. They are so proud of him and want everyone to see him and say how cute he is.
I will share his birth story soon…until then I will be snuggling a swaddled baby and drinking in every little bit of him I possibly can. I might be slow to post projects and behind when I say I will do things and I am ok with this. I hope you will be too. Please feel free to follow on Facebook or Instagram as I am pretty much filling my feeds with pictures of these three boys that I get to call mine!